I've seen this great character on the train lately, and I feel like I should tell you about him.
I do a lot of standing around on train platforms, waiting for trains to take me to and from work. There's this guy that apparently has the same commute as me, because I see him on the same platforms regularly.
Let me describe him. First off, he's probably in his late twenties, maybe thirty. He's gotta be a stock broker or some sort of trader. Something high stress related. He's always talking shit to someone – "blah, blah, market-this", "blah, blah, bonds-that", etc. He's tall, a bit lanky, but with some extra flesh overflowing around his shirt collar and belt – which pretty much describes about 90% of the commuters in Connecticut.
Here's his distinguishing characteristics that I find amusing. This guy always wears solid dark shirts, with dark solid ties. One day its dark green shirt with a piss-yellow tie. The next day its a dark red shirt with a blue tie. And his favorite – black shirt, dark red tie. And he never wears a jacket.
He also sweats. A lot. Granted, it's summer. I sweat, but not like this guy. His moppy, dark hair is always stuck to his pasty forehead. Actually, everything about him is pasty. The only skin he shows is his head and hands, because his shirt and sleeves are always buttoned. But what I can see, is pasty.
And my favorite characteristic, instead of carrying a briefcase – he carries a pack of cigarettes. I don't mean, he carries a pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. I mean, he "carries" a pack of cigarettes. In his hand. Always. Almost as if, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a cigarette, would take too much time. By carrying them in his hand, he eliminates one whole step, thus quickening his pack-to-mouth time ratio.
Yesterday, he was wearing his favorite black shirt, with his favorite red tie, sweating profusely, yacking some poor sap's ear off, carrying nothing but his pack of cigarettes in his hand, with a cigarette in his mouth and one behind his ear. Great character.
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