I was in the market for a new mattress for my son last week and called two of the big mattress retailers to get price and model information. Here are those conversations:
Sleepys: Hello, Sleepys.
Me: Hi, do you carry Serta Perfect Sleeper?
Sleepys: Yes we do.
Me: Can you tell me if you have a twin size with box spring in stock?
Sleepys: I'm sure we do. Why don't you come down to our showroom?
Me: Well, actually I'd like to make sure you have it in stock before I drive down there. I also need to know if it is 18" in height. I'm trying to match an existing bed setup.
Sleepys: Well sir, I don't know what height sizes they come in, but you're welcome to come down to our showroom with a tape measure and measure them.
Me: IF you have them in stock...
Sleepys: I'm sure we do.
Me: But you can't check for me so I don't waste my time driving 20 minutes to your store?
Sleepys: I'm sorry sir, I can't.
Me: Okay, that's fine. How much is the Serta Perfect Sleeper twin mattress and box spring.
Sleepys: I can't give you that information.
Me:(big pause) Excuse me?
Sleepys: We can't give out that information on the phone. You'll have to come down to the store for prices.
Me: (another big pause) I'm sorry, did you say you can't 'give out that information on the phone'? Why not?
Sleepys: That's just our policy.
Me: You realize that's a dumb policy. I'm not asking for your social security number. I'm asking you the price of a mattress.
Sleepys: Sorry sir.
Me: Okay, just so I'm clear. You THINK you have the mattress I want in stock, but you CAN'T check. You CAN'T check to see if it's the correct height. And you CAN'T give me the price of that mattress. Is that correct?
Sleepys: Yes, sir.
Me: I'm calling several mattress retailers. If another retailer can provide me with this information, why would I buy a mattress from you?
Sleepys: No idea sir.
Me: Thank you for you help.
Sleepys: You're welcome.
1-800-MATTRESS: 1-800-Mattress, Rudy speaking, can I help you?
Me: Yes, do you carry Serta Perfect Sleeper?
1-800-MATTRESS: Yes we do.
Me: Do you have a twin mattress and box spring in stock?
1-800-MATTRESS: Hold on, let me check. (Pause) Yes, computer says we do.
Me: Great. Do you know what the combined height of that mattress and box spring is? I'm trying to match another setup.
1-800-MATTRESS: What size does it need to be?
Me: 18 inches.
1-800-MATTRESS: If you hold on I'll go measure it.
Me: Great, thanks.
1-800-MATTRESS: (Minute later) Sir? It measures 19 inches. But yours is probably the same model, but has flattened a bit over the years. We have less plush mattresses that might be 18 inches, but they might not be as comfortable.
Me: No, no. 19 inches is fine. That's great. How much is it?
1-800-MATTRESS: $399 plus tax.
Me: Okay, great. How late are you open today?
1-800-MATTRESS: Until 8pm. But if you like we can deliver it for an additional $19.
Me: Deliver it? Really? When?
1-800-MATTRESS: Probably today.
Me: For twenty bucks?
1-800-MATTRESS: Nineteen, actually. And they'll set it up.
Me: Set it up? Like carry it upstairs and everything?
1-800-MATTRESS: Sure.
Me: Wow, that's sounds great. Let's do it.
1-800-MATTRESS: Very good, let me get some information from you.
Me: One last question...
1-800-MATTRESS: Sure.
Me: Why is Sleepys still in business?
1-800-MATTRESS: (Laughs) I have no idea sir.
I've got to tell you, that is a hilarious post. Sadly, it's hilarious because the experience is so recognizable. Well, also because the entire transcript was genuinely funny, but just the same.
Actually, you should have gone down to the store (any bedding store) and got educated. There are multiple types and models of Serta Perfect Sleeper mattresses and boxspings. They are price anywhere from $200 a set to $700 a set depending on quality. Also, they come in firm, plush, and pillow top, and each type feels completely different.